Welcome back to Lilly’s Hot Takes! If you haven’t been here before, my name is Lilly, and I love sharing my controversial opinions. Let’s jump in.
The hot take of the week? Candy Corn Is The Worst.
If I’m being completely honest, with some of my other hot takes I’m willing to have the conversation and hear opposing views, but this is different.
If someone were to come up to me and say “yes, I would take a handful of candy corn and enjoy it!” I would laugh. And I don’t mean that in a rude, mocking way, but no. No you would not enjoy it, no you don’t like candy corn, and no you cannot possibly believe that it tastes good.
If you like eating wax, just say that! No judgment from me, eat all the candles you want, you do you. But please, do not dye it orange and white, cut it in triangles and call it candy, because in no way, in no world, is it that.
Now don’t get me wrong, the idea is super cute! A seasonal candy that everybody loves. Sadly, this is not it. What is it even supposed to be? A corn kernel right? Because a kernel of corn just screams “it’s fall”.
I don’t buy it.
What about a cute pumpkin candy? Oh wait, they already did that, except it tastes even worse than candy corn. I don’t even know how that’s possible, but it happened.
They somehow grabbed every bad thing about candy corn, made those things worse, then turned it into a grossly flavored, dye covered, waxy pumpkin.
Now I get it, I’m giving a lot of criticism here, so let me offer up a solution.
Sweet Skulls. What’s that? It is a milk chocolate skull shaped candy, but it comes in white and dark chocolate too, don’t worry. And when you bite inside? Caramel, but the gooey caramel, not that stale hard caramel your grandparents keep in their jacket pockets.
Stay tuned, if I see enough candy corn this fall I may just call Hershey and make this happen.
In the meantime, candy corn haters: stay strong out there, we’ll get through this season together.
Candy corn fans: I don’t need to write any advice here, because as we’ve already established, you can’t possibly exist.
