Growing up, Will Ruscitella was always told he was gay. He has a high voice? Gay. He presents feminine? Gay. His friend group consisted mostly of girls? Gay. Before he could discover himself, classmates shoved it down his throat his entire life.
“I hadn’t even thought about my sexuality yet. I was like 12,” sophomore Ruscitella said. “People were constantly telling me ‘you’re gay,’ or ‘are you gay?’”
All of these accusations hit pre-teen Ruscitella hard. He combatted the assumptions by ignoring his identity. This is an increasing reality for many members of the LGBTQ+ community after the recent presidential election.
The Trump administration enacted and continues to expand anti-LGBTQ+ policies and legislation such as banning transgender people from the military, ensuring passports are marked with their citizens’ biological sex and banning federally-funded schools from respecting gender identities.
The continued focus on attacking LGBTQ+ youth in schools invokes immense fear in both publicly out students and those still discovering themselves. These fears may lead to suppression of students’ identities and, if they do express it, discrimination against them.
This fear was, and still is, an obstacle for Ruscitella in expressing his identity.
“I would just say no, because it was deemed as something that was less than or unequal,” he said.
However, by the end of middle school, right about to enter the halls of Valley, Ruscitella finally accepted the identity he had pushed away for years. Rather than a specific turning point, he accepted this identity over time.
“I have always been the way I am. I’ve never changed who I was,” he said.
But even though he came to understand who he was, telling other people was a tough hill to climb. He feared the inevitable “I told you so’s” from his middle school bullies.
The first person Ruscitella told was another gay student his age while they were watching a baseball game. He had only known him for a couple days, and when the boy asked Ruscitella if he was gay, he knew it was time.
“I remember he asked me ‘Oh, by the way, are you gay?’” Ruscitella said. “We had only known each other for three days. But it was the fact that he was a safe space because he had gone through the same things that I had gone through.”
Over the next few months, Ruscitella slowly began to come out to his close friends, where he was met with overwhelming support. With this newfound support system, he felt comfortable to come out publicly during freshman year.
“In middle school, I’d already dealt with tons of hate,” he said. “People who knew I was gay would say stuff to me that was openly homophobic. Like, I remember I got called the F-slur once or twice.”
Unfortunately, it only got harder once he affirmed his identity in freshman year. When Ruscitella joined the all-girls dance team, it gave his bullies even more substance to come up with insults and jabs at him and his identity.
“A lot of people came after me. Like, they would know I was on the dance team, and I would be heavily made fun of by people,” Ruscitella said. “I know that those people are usually projecting. But there were a couple times where people would really do something that was not okay.”
But even after coming out to his friends and the entire school, and dealing with immense hate, Ruscitella felt incomplete without telling a huge part of his life about his true self: his family.
“I was sick of my family not knowing who I am,” he said. “I had just watched ‘Heartstopper.’ And I remember Nick’s coming out scene really touched me. And I was like, this is something I actually want to do.”
After first coming out to his sister,he followed with his brother, then his mom and lastly his dad.
“Through it all, he continues to stand in his truth with grace and resilience,” Will’s mother, Allyson Ruscitella, said. “There’s a richness that lives within difference, and a kind of beauty that only reveals itself to those who are willing to see it. He inspires me every single day.”
It’s deeply important to LGBT+ youth to have not only an accepting family, but a supportive one who actively seeks to make their lives easier and more enjoyable.
“I always make sure I’m available as a positive, accepting and safe person to talk to,” Will’s sister, Sarah Ruscitella, said.
Will said he can’t overstate the intense weight lifted off his shoulders now that everyone in his life knew who he was.
“I love being true to myself. I love being different. I love being empowering to those who don’t feel like they have a voice,” Will said. “Being the change in society makes me feel so powerful, and makes me feel so proud of who I am.”
But while Will feels secure in his identity and loves that it is a part of him, it’s also accompanied with large amounts of fear and anxiety, particularly relating to recent political developments.
“It took me a long time to get over what happened in November,” he said. “It took me weeks. I mean, I cried every day.”
This sadness and fear is a reality for many members of the LBGTQ+ community, afraid their rights they’ve fought so hard for will be stripped away.
“People who say that politics don’t affect them aren’t affected by them,” Will said. “The regular straight white male isn’t going to be affected by rights being taken away, because they’re the ones possessing the rights. That’s just a lack of empathy.”
But Will looks to the future, persevering through this difficult time for members of the queer community.
“Knowing that I have a community behind me is comforting. Knowing that people are rooting for change, and knowing that I have people with me,” he said.
Will emphasizes the importance of the queer community leaning on one another, supporting each other through both highs and lows.
“I’ve stood on the sidelines and watched him endure false friends and a lack of acceptance,” Allyson said. “And speaking as a parent, that is deeply painful. But it’s been equally heartwarming to see the friends and family who have stood beside him throughout his journey.”
Will’s family has watched him through different stages of his life, different friendships, different experiences. They’re thrilled he’s found an accepting inner-circle.
“I’d spent my whole life until now searching for the perfect person I didn’t think existed,” senior Connor Adams, Will’s boyfriend, said. “Someone with morals, someone who’s funny, someone who cares. Someone like Will.”
Through the rollercoaster of his coming out journey, and the rocky road of coming to terms with his identity, Will has persevered, always looking for the silver linings in his experience and the community he is a part of, even through the constant curveballs life throws at him.
“Being different is the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Will said.
